As a woman, it feels like the moment you turn 30, the world casts you aside as a barren spinster with no prospects if you’re unmarried or childless.
Of course, this isn’t true, but there is palpable pressure on women, whether imposed by society or self-inflicted, to have their ducks (or should I say eggs?) in a row when it comes to having children.
This is totally ludicrous, especially considering the average age for having a baby is now 32.2 years (up from 31.1 in 2011).
With women deciding to push having a baby until they feel ready (instead of when they think they should), many are contemplating the idea of freezing their eggs,
Kidspot caught up with Dr Lynn Burmeister, the Medical Director at No. 1 Fertility and Anh Tran, who decided to freeze her eggs after finding herself at 35 and single to chat all things eggs, fertility and bookmarking being a mum.
How does freezing your eggs work?
Dr Lynn explained to Kidspot that “When eggs are frozen, they are ‘suspended in time’, and do not age…they remain the age we were at the time they were frozen.”
Freezing your eggs is not a guarantee for a future baby, but it does empower you.
It puts the control and power back into your hands, allowing you to take charge of your fertility.
As Dr Lynn puts it, “Freezing your eggs allows you to take control of your fertility and gives you an extra layer of security for when you do want to start a family.”
Wondering what the process is between freezing your eggs and getting pregnant?
“To achieve a pregnancy with frozen eggs, the eggs need to be thawed and fertilised with sperm before being transferred,” said Dr Lynn.
However, she added, the eggs “Can’t be re-frozen once the embryos have formed, which is why we recommend freezing at least 20 eggs to give you the best chance of a pregnancy.”
Pressure to follow a timeline
Anh could hear her biological clock ticking obnoxiously loud and decided to do something about it.
“Deciding to freeze my eggs was something I’d been mulling over long before my relationship hit a rough patch,” she told Kidspot.
“Growing up in a Vietnamese family with strong traditional values, there was this unspoken pressure to follow a certain timeline – you know, get married, then have kids.”
In a long-term relationship, Anh decided to make a mental note, “As our relationship approached its fourth year, I set this mental milestone: if we weren’t engaged by our fifth anniversary, I’d seriously consider freezing my eggs or embryos.”
But despite feeling secure in her relationship and deciding to put the egg freezing on the back burner, her relationship surprisingly ended.
“Everything seemed so steady with us that I sort of pushed the whole egg-freezing thing aside. Then, bam! Out of nowhere, we split when I was 34, about to turn 35.
“Suddenly, that ticking clock felt louder than ever.”
The lightbulb moment
While dealing with the grief that comes along with the end of a relationship, Anh decided to make an investment in her future.
“In the midst of dealing with the breakup, I had this lightbulb moment,” she said.
“I knew I didn’t want my next relationship to be a race against time to have a baby, and I wanted to give myself the best shot at motherhood without any regrets.
“Egg freezing felt like the right choice for peace of mind – knowing that whatever happens in the future, I’ve done everything I can.
“No “what ifs” haunting me down the road.”
The journey to freezing
Once Anh committed to the idea of freezing her eggs, she went on the hunt for the perfect place to help her.
“Once I committed to freezing my eggs, finding the right clinic became my top priority,” she explained.
“I reached out to several places to gauge how they treated their patients and where I’d feel most comfortable.
“Knowing this journey would be an emotional rollercoaster, I needed to trust the team guiding me through it.”
That’s when Anh came across Dr Lynn’s No. 1 Fertility pop-up at Chadstone.
“I had a chat with a lovely nurse named Shanise [and] she walked me through the entire process, from what was involved to the potential costs, and what steps I needed to take before my first consultation.
Reality hit hard
However, while Anh went into her initial appointment hopeful, after reviewing her test results, she said reality hit hard.
“I was disappointed to learn that my AMH levels were lower than expected for my age.
“It dawned on me that this wouldn’t be a one-time thing – I’d likely need multiple rounds to harvest enough eggs.”
Despite feeling a sense of defeat before even starting, Anh found an unlikely community to support her.
“The outpouring of support from my online community, whom I affectionately call my “egg buddies,” helped ease the blow.”
When we asked how she felt about the needles, she found the thought was worse than actually using them; “Surprisingly, the injections weren’t as daunting as I’d anticipated.”
“I want to become a mum someday”
Anh said freezing her eggs as made her excited to become a mum someday.
“Initially, it was more about having a backup plan, but after going through the process and feeling this newfound sense of maternal instinct kick in, I can’t deny that I would love to have a baby of my own.
“The idea of becoming a mum excites me.”
Anh’s story is a testament to the notion that every woman’s journey into motherhood is different and unique.
It’s so important to consider what feels right for you when deciding if becoming a mum is right for you. If you see it in your future, you can explore the many options available to you.